Everything Works, and Now I’m Bored.
The Special Canvas
Wren over at Corridor Digital brought me an excellent quote here that really resonated with me when I heard it 5 years ago:
“No movie is ever finished; it just gets released.”
This sat with me for some time, because I feel that tying this to the context of the CGi industry is selling it quite short. Like any “creative” individual, I have a relationship with deadlines that could best be described as “familiar,” and a huge amount of the reason for that has to do with quality management. It’s never a good idea to get a painter a single canvas, because they will never feel like they have an idea worthy enough to commit to that special canvas. Even if they did, there will always be that fear of messing up and having to throw away that special canvas.
I mentioned on my last post that the best way to learn anything is to try and risk breaking something. I’m sure you can see how this conflicts with painting on my special canvas.
I bring this up because I’m at a point now where I’ve broken enough things to have learned an incredible amount of material on a variety of subjects ranging from music theory to right to repair. And I’ve come to not just expect things to break, but I think I’m beginning to look forward to it. One of my projects that I’m currently working on is building a Debian repo for more recent builds of Kstars/INDI, and while the process is certainly doable, I’ve had points in the process where all I’ve wanted to do is throw my hands up and just build everything from the source code every single time.
But inevitably, I find a solution that works, I use the solution for a while, and then I get that itch.
I lack the vocabulary at this point to properly describe the feeling I get when everything works, and is tailored to my needs, and nothing ever breaks. I think it’s the same feeling that car enthusiasts get once their project car starts working well enough to use as a daily driver. You start to feel like the fact that it works isn’t enough. You want to improve it, and make it the best. As an example, one of the deciding factors in my purchase of an HEQ5 mount years ago was because of the aftermarket Rowan mod available for it. At that point, I knew ahead of time that I wanted to work on the mount myself. I’ve since installed the mod, and it works beautifully now with Brittany, the 8” Newtonian. I’m glad I got her as well, because now I have an entire optical tube’s worth of modifications to get ever-diminishing improvements to my image quality.
I often get asked by my colleagues in astronomy why I didn’t just buy something from OrionOpticsUK or Astro-Physics, where you give a company money in return for a quality product well made, no tuning or modification needed. I’ve failed to articulate my reasons in the moment, but I think I’ll put my rationale here and edit it if it needs revision.
Projects, Not Products
I don’t want a product. I want a project. Yes, there will always be that rush of just being able to push a button and have everything automatically work without your input. I’m sure it’s the same rush that people who role-play as mages get when they summon the undead or whatever. I wouldn’t know, I never played as a mage.
There are points where doing everything manually isn’t practical or preferable. I still drive an automatic car, and I’ve gotten very cozy with my mounts’ Go-To functionality. But I’m willing to accept those conveniences because they offer an even bigger learning opportunity in maintenance and configuration that I’d never have to worry about if I kept doing things the ol’-fashioned way. And my frustration now comes with the added bonus of me being frustrated indoors, rather than being out in the cold while also frustrated. I don’t enjoy my anger that much. No hate on those who do, it’s just not how I choose to approach things.
My next mission for my soul is figuring out what to do once I have learned everything I can about this. I’ve already started compiling my field notes into something of a book, part wiki part journal, and maybe I can just make that my new project where I get to learn all the ins and outs of writing, editing, and publishing. But seriously, where do you go once you’re at the top? Do I just succumb to the itch and find something else to do? That seems rather anticlimactic.
I love learning. I make rather inconvenient choices in life to pursue that love, such as buying things that are used, in questionable condition, or otherwise legendary for being problematic. I also want to keep my relationship with the Internet healthy and separate, which may be a consequence of my love for learning. Because now I get to try and learn how to:
Access my files via my self-hosted “cloud” instead of Google Drive, iCloud, whatever
Stream media (that I own) from my home network to my television,
Run my own e-mail server,
Do all of these things without developing the neckbeard and putting on an extra hundred pounds of body weight.
There’s probably a bunch of other sub-topics that can be learned just in these alone, and that’s what really matters here.
How to Never Get Bored.
The human brain is a wild organ. As I’m sure any number of professionals can tell you, the mind craves the right mixture of familiarity and novelty to really attain satisfaction, and that mixture is unique to everyone and is constantly changing. I’ve heard it theorized that people with higher levels of anxiety tend to prefer media that they’ve already seen, or media that resembles what they’ve already seen. But I’m failing to imagine even then, having the only media available being your trusty copy of The Office box set (you know who you are) before eventually getting bored and at least trying something new.
And maybe I’m being controversial here, but I think the responsibility should be on you, the person, to have the agency and self-awareness to figure out that recipe of familiarity and novelty.
And if that was controversial, here’s a borderline hot take; I think that the personal journey of finding that recipe is both worthwhile and entertaining enough to be worth the effort. I find that especially recently, the amount of “solutions” available to people that boil down to escapism both numerous and concerning. Yes, I can broadly wave my hands at the current state of things today and sarcastically ponder if I should be surprised, but I’d also like to counter with a little thought experiment for you, the reader.
How many of the problems with the world are actively impeding you and the accomplishment of your goals right here at this very moment?
I have no doubt that there are people, some of who may read this, who are actively inhibited by the state of the world today. To those people, I have nothing but sympathy for your current situation, and I genuinely hope that things improve for you. To others, those who look at everything awful happening, and use that as the backbone of an escapist rationale, I have less sympathy. To highlight what I mean, let me use a common example of this behavior.
One of the most frustrating things I’ve ever seen in a learning setting is a student who won’t ask a question because they’re afraid of being perceived as someone who isn’t smart. I’ve seen this as both a student and a teacher, and it’s infuriating on both sides. I don’t know what social factors have/are contributing to this phenomenon, and at this point, I’m not sure I can care anymore. No man is an island, and if you don’t know something, you shouldn’t count on there being a magical osmotic moment where someone else asks the exact question that’s on your mind. Be the person you need in the room. There have been actual tragedies that have cost peoples’ lives because someone was in the role they were certified for, and didn’t actually know what they were doing.
The way to never get bored is straightforward, and is a three-step process (more or less):
Ask questions,
Advocate for yourself,
Use that special canvas.
I think I can easily say on behalf of everyone who has ever bought their artist friend that special canvas, that we would be happy to see whatever it is that you apply to it. I say this while I get ready to send a file sharing link to one of my friends containing three of what I think are my best images for printing. Wish me luck.
Clear skies everyone
